AGoodReed / teaches you!

Brooke Geery, our esteemed and meritorious YoBeat friend, posted an excellent article a short time ago which we wish to note. agoodreed indeed—get on the ‘beat: Bamboo-hoo: The Greenwashing of Snowboarding

Ms. Geery discusses the current snowboard industry trend of “going green” by using bamboo in products. Though bamboo is highly renewable, it is largely produced in China. Thanks to very lenient environmental standards, bamboo growers in China often clear native forests and use harmful fertilizers to increase their yield. Furthermore, workers are exposed to toxic chemicals used in the processing of bamboo. And of particular interest to agr, bamboo is panda food! (via YoBeat)

We agree with Ms. Geery: bamboo is out. But what eco-friendly cause can we market now? Worry not ‘goodreeders—as dictators of hipness, we hereby decree that the new green is: not being mean to dolphins. So don’t laugh.

The doods over at Cool Hunting served up a slice of new hotness this morning. Just the way we like to start our day.

“Burton Private Stock is an extremely limited collection of products available exclusively at a select group of 100 specialty retailers worldwide. For the launch of Private Stock, Burton collaborated with one of Cool Hunting’s favorites, Ron English. Known for his politically charged illustrations and subverted billboards, English’s works are used on the Burton Hero and women’s Blender snowboards which are both available for $400. The collection also includes the Freezone Boot and Mission EST Binding which are different than the regular catalog offerings because they have special added features.” (via Cool Hunting)

The special features are top-secret, but agr has the inside scoop:

The board can be used as a Popsicle stick for elephants. The boots have wheels so you can cruise around the lodge and pick-up chicks. The bindings double as sandals: just pop ‘em off and you are ready for the clubs and getting babes! Now your snowboard gear isn’t just for snowboarding!

Because of the short supply, the Private Stock series is sure to be a popular item. That got us thinking of ways agr can profit off of the hotness of limited products…

agr is proud to announce our new product…baby pandas! Super limited.

Last night, agr awoke from a deep siesta with a jolt. Something was amiss. We could sense something lurking amongst the Internets…

But what is it? Research has been inconclusive, but we have our theories:

1) Comune is a new skate/snow apparel company. Kinda like ambiguous, if ambiguous read Kafka and Nietzsche and played experimental music.

or

2) The title of the new Armi Ja Danny album.

Either way, we’re pumped.

If the title of this post doesn’t get agr some hits, we will hang up our Internetin’ gloves.

The BBC reports,

We here at agr constantly strive to provide fair and accurate news that matters to our reeders. We hold ourselves to the highest of standards in terms of maintaining our integrity as journalists. This means reporting the news without the influence of our personal opinions and interests. That said, we would feel morally irresponsible if we did not share our thoughts regarding the looming US presidential election.



VOTE for McCAIN and PALIN in 2008. We were all aboard the Obama boat until McCain announced his selection for vice president, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Now we are red, through and through. Never mind Palin’s lack of experience, involvement with a group pushing for Alaska to secede from the US, and questionable platform (including her support of shooting wolves from helicopters). We are interested in more important things:her future son-in-law is a snowboarder. (via Globe and Mail) Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Governor Palin, is five-months pregnant with the child of Levi Johnston. On his Myspace page, the 18-year-old Johnston states “I’m a f—kin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s—t and just f—kin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya f—k with me I’ll kick ass.” (via Globe and Mail)

Hell yea. In fact, let’s lose that McCain goon and get Levi in the oval office and kick some serious ass. Enough of these liberal sissies — Awesome America in 2008.

Technological innovation in the action sports industry has been going bonkers, Inspector Gadget style. Just when you thought your scooter was the hottest thing around, BAM! There are kids rolling around with one that has more unnecessary parts and/or is missing crucial parts. Bad news, the madness will continue.


Video game developers Destineer and Bongfish (hehehe…) have partnered with Absinthe Films to create a snowboarding video game so real that you won’t ever have to strap in to a board.

“Stoked features five huge open-world mountains, changing weather patterns, and the sponsorship and cooperation of some of the most respected and influential names in the sport….In Stoked, craft a snowboarding career with your own customizable style and ride five famous mountains featuring over 45 square miles of open terrain in each location. Discover new drop points by helicopter. Dynamic and ever-evolving weather conditions await riders as they choose where they ride and what they ride in by tracking conditions that suit their tastes.”(via Transworld Business)

We here at agr are very excited about this. Not because we intend to be playing Stoked. We don’t own a video game thingy, nor a TV. But what this means is that all of the 12-year-olds who DO have every single piece of electronic equipment known to man, will no longer have to participate in activities like snowboarding. Instead, now they can enjoy it all from the comfort of their sofa. This means that agr can now go to the mountain/skatepark/beach/church/store/work and not have to suffer through being shown up by kids strung out on Skittles and soda.

In addition to being esteemed journalists, we here at agr are also meteorologists. In terms of forecasting, we are revered for our impeccable accuracy in predicting weather. In fact, we are always right…most of the time.





We were interested in the recently released forecast by the Farmer’s Almanac. Not to be confused with the Old Farmer’s Almanac, The Farmer’s Almanac forecasts are made by Caleb Weatherbee, who uses a secret formula based on sunspots, the position of the planets and the moon, as well as a concoction consisting of bat’s blood, the hair of an opossum, lizard spleen, and LSD. The Almanac’s forecast proclaims “numb’s the word“, calling for colder than average temperatures for 2/3 of the country. In addition, the Almanac predicts wet winters for the Great Lakes, Midwest, Northeast, Mid-Atlantic, Southeast, and the Southwest. Unfortunately, the Northwest is predicted to have a drier than normal winter. (via AP)


Don’t panic ‘goodreeders, this claim is ludicrous. agr uses much more advanced methods for prediction, and we can tell you that without a doubt, that the Northwest will see a very wet winter, with an extra helping of gnarly. Our justification? We have connections…


But if you are still skeptical, well, there is always this option…

There has been an interesting rumor flowing around the rivers of the Internets lately, and as usual we have two cents, and we aim to share it with you.

The Los Angeles Times recently published an article on the growing popularity of longboarding, titled “More skaters switching to longboards.” The article notes rising longboard sales and estimates that there are more than 750,000 longboarders in the US. The article states that more people are choosing longboarding over short boards because “it’s easier, more inclusive and has greater age diversity (longboarders range from preteens to baby boomers).” (via LA Times)

But don’t jump on this trend just yet ‘goodreeders; let’s figure out if longboarding is really the next Skip-It. While we cannot deny the rising popularity of longboarding*, we don’t think that it is appropriate for everyone.

The article bases its conclusion on data collected in a unique locale, Southern California. Upon further investigation, agr discovered that in addition to high concentrations of longboarders, California also has the highest population of persons with the last name of “Bro.”

So before you hop on a longboard, ask yourself: 1) is my name “bro”, and 2) am I a UCLA student who “loves the feeling of schussing down a mountain on a snowboard — but [am] less enthusiastic about the cost of the winter sport, its seasonal nature and the necessary travel.”

*agr would also like to note that the rising popularity of longboarding has been paralleled by the popularity of: wearing board shorts regardless, polo shirts of “metro-sexual” color, aviator sunglasses, hair gel, and flip flops regardless of weather.

Among the many reasons folks depend on agr, fashion advice is one of the most valued. As trend titans, it is our duty to keep all y’all reeders in the loop on how to stay fresh fish.


What’s hot for 2008/2009 is the future. That’s right, ugly apparel—including all-over prints, throwback styles, contrasting bright colors, baggy thug pants, tight hipster pants, and pants pants—are way 2007. Here is a must-have for the future.





Swany g.cell Glove. The first hands-free snowboard glove. The g.cell features a “fully integrated Bluetooth adaptable cell phone in a totally functional ski and winter sports glove. Incoming calls detected by vibrating wrist action. Push on back of hand to receive call. Call out - voice command dial system. Speaker and listening device integrated into palm and thumb. Suggested retail $495.00” (via Swany)


Remember, the future is all about not exerting effort. That is why the g.cell is an essential item. The g.cell will allow you to call your mom for a refill of Mountain Dew so that you don’t have to set down the controller while playing Shaun White Snowboarding on your wii.

We here at agr are all about peace, love and good vibrations, but there are some things that just get our goat. Near the top of this list is lying about finding Sasquatch. Not cool.

(via Searching for Bigfoot)

“American hoaxers used a rubber gorilla suit frozen in a block of ice to pretend they had found the remains of Bigfoot, it was revealed today. Two men claimed last week that they had found the body of Bigfoot in the woods of Georgia. The 2.3m (7ft 7in) ‘corpse’, encased in ice, was sold to Tom Biscardi, a Bigfoot tracker, for an undisclosed sum after he was shown a DNA sample purported to have been taken from the remains.” (via guardian.co.uk)

We saw right through these Georgian scammers claim. Everyone knows that Bigfoot is from Washington.



In fact, ’squatch is a good friend of agr’s. We meet him at the Espresso Chalet in Index and go shred. He rips. He even has his own pro model.