AGoodReed / Hello World!

And once again, Burton does something edgy and gets everybody talking. Snowboard moms and shred clerics are up in arms over Burton’s “bare-it-all” 08/09 LOVE boards, whose graphics feature nude Playmate models.

As public informers, agr is compelled to reveal that Burton’s sensational marketing scheme really is “old-hat.” Nice try Burton. Nudity, private-parts, and poop jokes have been a part of snow and snowboarding since the Ice Age.

Skateboarding is frustrating. Any self-satisfaction that comes from finally nailing yr SW-FS-overeasy-LOL-slippydippy-revert-out is sure to be stolen by the revelation that some 9-year-old did it way before you. Such is also the case with skating pooches, including Meaty of Rob and Big fame. Contrary to the image his PR team has portrayed, Meatys predecessor, Tyson the Skateboarding Dog, was not the first canine to hit the grip tape. Nay, this distinction goes to the Evergreen state.

Alvie, an Australian Shepherd dog, was pushing around way back in the 1980’s. He was recently remembered in the 30-year Reunion of the Olympic Skatepark Reuion in Seattle, Washington. (via NWskater)

That’s right folks: Washington is numero uno in putting critters on wheels. agr is proud to continue this tradition with Little Bit, the trife terrapin.

[Ed note: Double dose of Signal this week folks. Mike, you can’t buy publicity like this, but your sure can try. We accept cash or gold doubloons]

Something is brewing over at the Signal lab…

Signal Snowboards is teaming up with Sierra and the community (you) to build a custom snowboard! Our motto at the factory is Dream it, Build it, Ride it. We have our own factory called The Lodge in Huntington Beach California where we are able to design, build and test all in a day. With you and management at Sierra we will be working on narrowing down specifics and technology until we come up with the perfect board for you.” (click for full press release from Dave Lee of Signal Snowboards)

Exciting, eh? Just think of the possibilities: magne-traction, reverse camber, reverse-reverse camber, holes in the base. Why stop there? After countless hours at the drawing board, agr is excited to release our proposal for the new Signal board…

(image via Made in Queens)

Get some tunes on that piece!  We saw the film “Made in Queens,” and those cats know what’s up. We would throw some big ‘ol speakers on the topsheet, and just jam.

Ain’t nothing we enjoy more that a hot stack of libel to start our day. If you have yet to check out the new Holden website, do so now. Good stuff. Real slick design. Cool movies. Snappy looking line. Ambient music. Blog. Those Holden folks do it right, and the kids are all about it.

But will the snowboard kids still be digging the fashionable outerwear after they see Holden in Freeskier Magazine’s 2009 Buyer’s Guide? Oh no!

But wait: there’s more! Holden is also adding skiers to its team. Dang. This means that cool snowboarders can’t wear Holden anymore, right?

Wrong. Holden can still be cool. You are not uncool just because you have the same style as someone else. Take agr for example. We are way cool. Babies are also cool. And we both wear high heels.

(image via New York Post)

If there is something to take away from the chaos wrecking havoc on Wall Street, it is this: diversify your assets. This is what our friend Gryme Tyme has done.

Gryme Tyme is a rap artist from Denver, Colorado that has guns and “produces his own shit.” But he doesn’t limit himself to just one name. He also goes by “Kid Cholula, The Navajo Prince” and Mitch Reed. You may remember Mitch Reed as the Burton rider from several Standard, Burton, and FODT films. OMG BFF WTF ROFL CUL8R!?!?!?

Gryme Tyme has it right kids: don’t put all yr eggs in one basket. Because chances are your eggs are all rotten and everybody will think you are a goon when you go the market. So why not teach your eggs some slang and gang symbols? Then you too can have “the hottest shit since Tapatio Hot Sauce.” Can’t beat that.

Mitch was supposed to have a part in the new Standard film “Aesthetica,” but for some reason it was cut out of the final edit. Hmmmmm. (via kdeezy)

Brooke Geery, our esteemed and meritorious YoBeat friend, posted an excellent article a short time ago which we wish to note. agoodreed indeed—get on the ‘beat: Bamboo-hoo: The Greenwashing of Snowboarding

Ms. Geery discusses the current snowboard industry trend of “going green” by using bamboo in products. Though bamboo is highly renewable, it is largely produced in China. Thanks to very lenient environmental standards, bamboo growers in China often clear native forests and use harmful fertilizers to increase their yield. Furthermore, workers are exposed to toxic chemicals used in the processing of bamboo. And of particular interest to agr, bamboo is panda food! (via YoBeat)

We agree with Ms. Geery: bamboo is out. But what eco-friendly cause can we market now? Worry not ‘goodreeders—as dictators of hipness, we hereby decree that the new green is: not being mean to dolphins. So don’t laugh.

The doods over at Cool Hunting served up a slice of new hotness this morning. Just the way we like to start our day.

“Burton Private Stock is an extremely limited collection of products available exclusively at a select group of 100 specialty retailers worldwide. For the launch of Private Stock, Burton collaborated with one of Cool Hunting’s favorites, Ron English. Known for his politically charged illustrations and subverted billboards, English’s works are used on the Burton Hero and women’s Blender snowboards which are both available for $400. The collection also includes the Freezone Boot and Mission EST Binding which are different than the regular catalog offerings because they have special added features.” (via Cool Hunting)

The special features are top-secret, but agr has the inside scoop:

The board can be used as a Popsicle stick for elephants. The boots have wheels so you can cruise around the lodge and pick-up chicks. The bindings double as sandals: just pop ‘em off and you are ready for the clubs and getting babes! Now your snowboard gear isn’t just for snowboarding!

Because of the short supply, the Private Stock series is sure to be a popular item. That got us thinking of ways agr can profit off of the hotness of limited products…

agr is proud to announce our new product…baby pandas! Super limited.

Last night, agr awoke from a deep siesta with a jolt. Something was amiss. We could sense something lurking amongst the Internets…

But what is it? Research has been inconclusive, but we have our theories:

1) Comune is a new skate/snow apparel company. Kinda like ambiguous, if ambiguous read Kafka and Nietzsche and played experimental music.

or

2) The title of the new Armi Ja Danny album.

Either way, we’re pumped.

If the title of this post doesn’t get agr some hits, we will hang up our Internetin’ gloves.

The BBC reports,

We here at agr constantly strive to provide fair and accurate news that matters to our reeders. We hold ourselves to the highest of standards in terms of maintaining our integrity as journalists. This means reporting the news without the influence of our personal opinions and interests. That said, we would feel morally irresponsible if we did not share our thoughts regarding the looming US presidential election.



VOTE for McCAIN and PALIN in 2008. We were all aboard the Obama boat until McCain announced his selection for vice president, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin. Now we are red, through and through. Never mind Palin’s lack of experience, involvement with a group pushing for Alaska to secede from the US, and questionable platform (including her support of shooting wolves from helicopters). We are interested in more important things:her future son-in-law is a snowboarder. (via Globe and Mail) Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Governor Palin, is five-months pregnant with the child of Levi Johnston. On his Myspace page, the 18-year-old Johnston states “I’m a f—kin’ redneck who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes. But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s—t and just f—kin’ chillin’ I guess. Ya f—k with me I’ll kick ass.” (via Globe and Mail)

Hell yea. In fact, let’s lose that McCain goon and get Levi in the oval office and kick some serious ass. Enough of these liberal sissies — Awesome America in 2008.