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agr’s almanac

28 August 2008 2 Comments

In addition to being esteemed journalists, we here at agr are also meteorologists. In terms of forecasting, we are revered for our impeccable accuracy in predicting weather. In fact, we are always right…most of the time.



We were interested in the recently released forecast by the Farmer’s Almanac. Not to be confused with the Old Farmer’s Almanac, The Farmer’s Almanac forecasts are made by Caleb Weatherbee, who uses a secret formula based on sunspots, the position of the planets and the moon, as well as a concoction consisting of bat’s blood, the hair of an opossum, lizard spleen, and LSD. The Almanac’s forecast proclaims “numb’s the word“, calling for colder than average temperatures for 2/3 of the country. In addition, the Almanac predicts wet winters for the Great Lakes, Midwest, Northeast, Mid-Atlantic, Southeast, and the Southwest. Unfortunately, the Northwest is predicted to have a drier than normal winter. (via AP)

Don’t panic ‘goodreeders, this claim is ludicrous. agr uses much more advanced methods for prediction, and we can tell you that without a doubt, that the Northwest will see a very wet winter, with an extra helping of gnarly. Our justification? We have connections

But if you are still skeptical, well, there is always this option…

2 Comments »

  • Alex Loddengaard said:

    If China can make it rain in Beijing to clean the air, AGR can make it rain in the Northwest.

    I hear you can order bat blood in parts of Asia. Maybe a rumor, though.

  • Melinduh said:

    That first picture is absolutely inappropriate.

    Keepin’ it classy, boys

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