The world of professional snowboarding is cutthroat. Throw down or step down, or something like that. It’s hard enough to maintain prominence in the tumultuous pro shred market, and even harder to earn your stripes. Thankfully, we came across the following promo video which will assist you in creating your own. Next step, snowboard stardom.

We know the video is for rollerblading, but here are the key takeaways.

1) Winners have dreadlocks

2) Any trick is made cooler by simultaneously grabbing one foot and pulling it over your head.

3) Making windmill motions with your arms earns lots of cool points.

4) Cliche hip-hop songs are a must.

5) Don’t forget to mean-mug after stomping your super radical ballerina move.

Mean mug.