For how to prepare for a snowboard video premiere, please refer to our previous installment of “agr guide to snowboard video premieres.”

(image via thecobrasnake)

To fully experience a snowboard video premiere, one must conduct his or herself in a calculated fashion. Following our recommendations will assist you in fulfilling the encompassing goal of attending snowboard video premieres: to make everyone else think you are a big deal.

1. 1. Buy your tickets in advance. In doing so, you avoid having to reveal to the crowds that you were not on the VIP list.
2. 2. Arrive late.  Snowboard videos are not “cool,” and showing up on time is doubly uncool. Arrive late, and then tell everyone about how you were at some secret party/show and you got dragged to the premiere by some friend.
3. 3. Locate any accomplices, exchange Hi-5s, and begin complaining about how crowded and blown-out the premiere is. Share memories of how “core” snowboarding used to be.
4. 4. Survey the scene. Who is there? Who isn’t? Who is wearing new gear? Who is wearing the same gear as you? Identify shred-enemies and locate shred-allies.
5. 5. Do not watch the snowboard film. Remain at the bar, paying $8 per drink. Converse awkwardly with shred-allies about how premieres are lame, how stoked you are for winter and how you are getting flowed gear by some friend, rep or sponsored rider.
6. 6. Go to the after-party, lament about the lack of females, price of drinks, swear to never go another premiere and repeat next weekend.

Have fun kiddos.