In case you were concerned, we are still homeless. So if you are in need of a roommate who can live in cramped spaces, burns toast, appreciates a dirty joke, recycles, WRITES FOR A BLOG, uses ZERO utilities, and knows a good place to steal milk crates, give a shout.

Conveniently, nothing important has happened in snowboarding. But fret not, there is still plenty of things about snowboarding to make fun of (for regular ridicule of snowboarding, you should visit our friends at YoBeat.) But here is a healthy dose of snowboarding absurdness.

Liberty Mountain Snowflex Centre, a new year round, snowless freestyle park at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University (For a full interview on the slope go HERE) will open its lifts on Saturday, August 29 with a freestyle exhibition. While Snowflex slopes have taken off in Europe, the event will mark the first full scale opening of a Snowflex hill here in the States.

For more information on the opening visit www.liberty.edu/snowflex

(via TW Business)

Oh thank heaven! While Falwell maintains that the slope is for the benefit of the general public, AGR has the inside scoop that the slope is Ark 2.0. Because snowboarders are dumb and do things like drink beer and listen to rap, God has planned another Deluge to eradicate the impure (2012?). But it won’t be another flood. No, it will be a rise in global temperature that wipes out all real snow (not to be confused with global warming, that is a myth).

After the Deluge, the only snowboarders left will be wholesome snowboarders who ride for Burton and have migrated to Liberty.

Should you move to the promised slope? Check to see if you identify with some of Ol’ Man Falwell’s greatest hits:

• If you’re not a born-again Christian, you’re a failure as a human being.
• I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!
• The idea that religion and politics don’t mix was invented by the Devil to keep Christians from running their own country.
• You’ve got to kill the terrorists before the killing stops.